Thursday, January 31, 2013

i just do not care for certain behaviors

grey.
but not just grey,
all sorts of grey:
from white to black
and every grey in between;
from the light grey of non-shiny silver
to the dark grey of nearly navy
and every grey in between.

what is the difference between 'grey' and 'gray'?
my dictionary denotes no difference,
but i prefer the 'e' because it's less like 'gay'

and on the subject of homosexuality
i guess i'm in the gray

12/15/12 8:28pm

the road ahead is dark and empty
i am too

tired of and sad about the world
but in love with and in awe of it too

i just keep using the words 'inspiring' and 'life-affirming'

my fingers feel
cold and numb
and you have once again
given me hope for something

True Happiness Comes from Within

i feel very zen tonight

seems like i have all the answers
which i provide in riddle format

Wednesday, January 30, 2013

observation 3

i can see the pixels
in my iPhone screen
and i am just so happy

thought 3

The sound of the rain
Mingled with the scent
Of the moist and muddy
Earth; bliss is not nothingness.

healthy food is good for you

I will eat cilantro and
I will eat parsley and
I will have fresh breath and then
You will want to kiss me

1/30/13 3:07am

a friend sent me a heart icon in a message
i said 'hi, how are you?'
there was no reply

mira gonzalez's i will never be beautiful enough to make us beautiful together

my book, again,
did not arrive
and that, i think,
is sad; okay?

Notes

this is a good app

this app is good

an app this good should be illegal

but i'm glad it's not

observation 2

funny how
the long words
tend to have
short definitions
& vice versa

goofy rhyming thing

Everything is Ocean,
All of this is true,
And if you'll pay attention,
I will tell you what I do:
I sit and think and read and write
And that's just how it goes both day and night;
Sometimes I watch tv while I make myself a salad,
But usually I'm writing my teeny, tiny ballads.

thought 2

To create
is to point out the relationship
between A and F
without demonstrating the steps in between--
That is the work of the critics.

the best scene from The Omen is when the nanny kills herself



i used to think the best scene from The Omen
was when that guy got his head sliced off
by a flying pane of glass

but that was because i was young
and adolescent and liked violence
when i saw it

the real ‘best scene’ in The Omen
is also the scene that contains
the best line:

“It’s all for you.”

that's what the nanny of the antichrist shouts on his
fifth birthday just before she jumps from the rooftop
with a rope around her neck

and her swinging body crashes into a first-story
window and everyone screams in horror
except for the antichrist

the antichrist does not scream or look horrified
the antichrist looks at the nanny’s corpse
with calm indifference

and likewise, the poems and the stories that i write:
“It’s all for you.” but i don't know who you are and
i fear you’d react with calm indifference too

today i was productive

today i was productive
i ate a vegan salad
i wrote
i read some things
i shoveled the driveway
i shaved my neck beard
i shaved my armpits
i shaved my pubes
i showered

i followed people i like on tumblr
i did some other things too

i intend to do more reading
from a physical, pages book
"real" books are more appealing to me
but i've been getting into ebooks lately too
i intend to reading some

this might be a free association thing
but i also don't think that it is
because i included a list of things i have done today

i just sneezed
but i didn't let that stop me from writing
i am unemployed
but i won't let that stop me from writing

i am now reminded of
the concept of alt-positivity
by Steve Roggenbuck (i think)
who i like very much right now
and i like that concept too
because it seems to be working
by which i mean i have been productive today

Tuesday, January 29, 2013

dialogue 2

"I don't think you need a jacket today."
"Well, I'll carry it with me."
"It's 85 degrees out."
"But it's supposed to rain later."
"Not til later tonight."
"Yes, they said it would be later."

haiku 3

some people enter
pharmacological schools
to feed drug habits

sky view

the clouds, the winds;
the currents of the latter
whipping up the former
into serpentine shapes

request

curl up upon me
be the weight atop my chest
hold me down
keep me safe within this bed

dialogue

'i don't understand you anymore' she said
'nor i you'
'what's going on with you lately?'
'it's been this way since high school'
'oh'
'yeah'

envelope push

We have to be careful
not to push the envelope too far
because if we push the envelope too far
then the envelope will have been pushed farther
than we had intended.

1/26/13 12:10am

sometimes
when i close my eyes,
all i see is darkness

Monday, January 28, 2013

dream

i was lying in bed and i had to go to the bathroom so i went to the bathroom and i was standing at the toilet but i was scared to stay in there because there was a big, crawling bug in the sink that was moving around and making a noise, so i zipped up my pants and walked out of the bathroom and while i did so i peered into the sink and saw the bug; it was lying over the edge of the sink like it was trying to get out and it was really scary looking: it was a dark color, maybe black, and it seemed to have a very textured body, like it was ribbed like a sort of grub, but it was making clicking noises and i'm not sure if those noises were from mouth-pinchers or from legs scuttling on the porcelain sink basin, and it was just frightening and terrifying, so much so that i actually woke up to escape the sight of it

observation

yesterday's ear-gauged children
are begetting today's offspring

visit to a casino

this place is like the hallways of high school:
everybody is oblivious of and bumping into others

12/15/12 12:23am

nothing survives (when)
nothing remains

12/9/12 7:39pm

everyone is leaving
and i say i'm leaving too
and i think that i am leaving
like the way that they are leaving
but i'm not

1/18/13 7:41pm

this is banal
because i am hyper-critical
and analyzing everyone's actions and words.

This is important.this is what you need to read.

Sunday, January 27, 2013

9/29/12 11:47am

Some leaves are changing,
Others staying the same;
Some people are leaving,
Others buckling down, prepared for the storms.

Saturday, January 26, 2013

Bon Appetit

Determined, quiet flakes
dropping downward
like marine snow;
this must be what it's like
to be a vampire squid.

Friday, January 25, 2013

evening

travel down a traveled road,
make your way towards where
the sun sets sleepily each night

thought

Literary Philosophy is a vine
growing off the branch of Aesthetics
growing from the tree of Philosophy.

haiku 2

fishermen fishing
for fishes to take home and
fry up for supper

Thursday, January 24, 2013

moustaches, moustaches

i never understood
what was ironic about
having a moustache

the only exception
i can think of is
a Jewish man with
a toothbrush moustache

and even then, that style was
associated with Charlie Chaplin,
which isn't very ironic

Tuesday, January 22, 2013

a sickly yellow under fluorescent lights

one day in my high school religion class i got a bloody nose

i asked the nun who taught the class if i could go to the bathroom

she said yes so i did

the next day and maybe even at the same time i got another bloody nose

'you better lay off the cocaine' the nun joked

i laughed awkwardly and said yeah

then i left to stop the bleeding

biology

What do the tweeting twats know
about the pseudocopulation between
stationary seducers and flying penises?

Monday, January 21, 2013

fb status

i made a facebook status that said

"pretty piano notes over soul-crunching beats"

i'm not sure why i wrote that

or what prompted me to write it,

but if i made music i'd make music like that

where there's something nice and kind of formal

merged or antipodal to something modern and abstract

but i am no musician, my life is no lp

and though i think i may be on to something

i barely even write

haiku

i feel like i try
too hard but i don't know how
to relax, let go

Thursday, January 17, 2013

experiment in free association 2

i miss twitter

i deleted my account

i think one day i will post my top twenty popular tweets

maybe that day will be today

currently listening to Regina Spektor

i like her but i dont think this album is great overall/as a cohesive whole

not sure how to begin explaining what i mean by that

but i know what i mean by that

felt excitement that people are viewing my stuff here

ps, sorry about these free association things

i know they suck

i listened to a radio interview of David Foster Wallace that was posted on youtube

and he talked about people apologizing for themselves as a preventative measure

as a way of avoiding having others judge them

i like that so i apologize for apologizing

maybe i apologize for that too

and im gonna be done now

experiment in free association

i am sitting here wondering how to start this

this is an experiment in free association

i think of it as stream-of-consciousness like from a stream-of-consciousness novel

like something by Virginia Woolf or James Joyce

but i dont know if it is because ive never read anything by them

although i did read 'the dead' by Joyce for a modern british lit class i took

that class was good but our teacher suffered a nervous breakdown early in the semester

a replacement professor was brought in to finish teaching for the semester

i liked the replacement professor better, mostly because he had a beard

i like facial hair

i put facial hair in my blog name because it seemed cool and necessary and i have facial hair

but my blog is not about facial hair

right now i have a trimmed beard with the neck part shaved

i tried to shave the hairs on my high cheekbones but it didnt turn out well so i wont be doing that again

im not really sure what im doing or what this is supposed to be

free association i suppose but im not sure if this is good

i may just delete this

or post it like a mistake that someone should have deleted but didnt

like videos online of people breaking vases in their living rooms

i often wonder why people post mistakes instead of deleting them

perhaps it has something to do with a desire to connect with others, even if it means looking like a fool

Friday, January 11, 2013

November Clouds





The November sky is draped in feathered clouds,
Each tucking in the setting tender sun;
The dark descends upon the pond, the yard and house.

An overactive mind which it itself assaults—
Depressive thoughts all looped aggressively—
Grasps the puffy, goose-down clouds

And soothing assurance finds a foothold,
A place to rest, to stay the night, to enter sleep
As dark and complete as November evening clouds.