A (semi-)Recent Publication & My Answers to the Proust Questionnaire

Hello; 2 Things:

1) This is a bit late, but earlier this month (Oct. 3), I had two poems published in Bluestockings Magazine's recent issue, which was in collaboration with Nudity in the Upspace.You can read the entire, beautiful issue here (hint: my poems, "not that that would be, nor has been, difficult to find" and "[untitled] for @Aurist" are on pages 19 and 36, respectively).

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2) A few days ago, I took the Proust Questionnaire, courtesy of Fawzy Zablah, who is a fantastic writer and great person. He very kindly posted my replies on his blog, which you can read right here. Fawzy's written a great book, "Rarity of the Century," and he was so gracious as to invite me to answer these thought-provoking questions, popularized by French author Marcel Proust.

Okay, that's basically it for now. Thanks!

dom.

Cruisin to the Finish Line: Acceleration - Pt Cruiser USA

PT Cruiser USA has written another hilarious book with "Cruisin to the Finish Line: Acceleration;" but this time, we are given more personal flourishes of her life as her popularity has increased. While this third book is still written in her boisterous voice, "Acceleration" is like a combination of her first and second books, "Speed Secrets" and "Ambitions of a Rider," respectively. Beginning with a few short pieces, which serve to establish her unique and distinct brand (bizarre real life happenings, love of hot R&B/soul/hip hop men, being a car, and working in a retail store that seems to have been plucked from a sitcom plot), PT Cruiser USA's "Acceleration" takes the reader into greater detail of her life and some real life, personal experiences, both at work and with friends outside of work.

In terms of her brand, I will admit I rolled my eyes when she once again had a list of hot guys. For an instant, I became indignant and felt like, 'Is she really going to have this same list a third time, but just a little bit different??' Yes; yes, she did. But this indignation was short-lived because I accepted the fact that she had included the list a third time. After all, she has staked her personal brand as being a lover of VH1 Soul and the men who are artists within that world, so was I really surprised about this? No, not really. And while I still don't "love" the fact that she has included basically the same list in all three of her books, I enjoy that she's staying true to herself, if and only if because: from book to book, this list, while basically the same, has changed, if ever so slightly, which implies progress of a sort. Or, another way to put it: PT Cruiser USA does not take this list lightly; on the contrary, PT Cruiser USA takes her list of hot men VERY seriously, so much so that she is willing to update and change the list and inform us of those changes.

One very nice, new addition to this third book was the inclusion of four "Car Facts" scattered throughout. The first of these appears immediately after "List of Hot Guys with Additional Hot Guys Added in Bold," which was incredibly refreshing after having gotten through a list I've read several times before. But more importantly, these "Car Facts" seemed to be sort of like the "What Things Mean" chapter at the end of her first book, "Speed Secrets." In that chapter, she explained the meanings and origins of some of the phrases she continually tweets. But with the four "Car Facts," PT Cruiser USA has spaced these little tidbits out, which interestingly divides the book up. It is akin to when a long poem is followed by a short poem, or when a long, run-on sentence is followed by a short, snappy sentence(-fragment). As such, the placements of the four "Car Facts" were timely breaths of fresh air.

"Hangover" was fucking hilarious! While I'm sure it was a horrible experience for PT Cruiser USA, I was thankful she shared this story with us. I read the first half of "Acceleration" (in which this chapter is included) in the breakroom at my work and laughed aloud several times during this story. Some of the guys who work in the produce department looked over at me, but I didn't care because PT Cruiser USA's story was too 'on point'. I mean, getting drunk from maybe about half of one beer and then being hungover, but having that hangover triggered by Bruno Mars on the radio at work...utterly hilarious! I also felt connected to her when she got a nosebleed on her way home, as I myself used to be prone to nosebleeds and, thus, understand the awkwardness of having to deal with a nosebleed in public. Her comedic timing in the telling of this tale was handled well and I also liked the car allusions she made towards the end of the chapter (because, of course, she's a car *beep*).

I was also interested to see that there is a greater emphasis on dates and times in this third book, which is important. PT Cruiser USA has always said she aspires to be internet famous and Twitter famous. Since the launch of her Twitter account and the release of her books, PT Cruiser USA's fame has increased. But what is a celebrity without a fame-timeline? Indeed, increased popularity will lead to more happenings both online and irl, which means she will relay these stories to us via Twitter and, possibly, future books, which will in turn continue to promote her fame and popularity. (It's the circle of Fame.) Thus, the emphasis on dates and times in this book functions as a way to track her heightening popularity, as well as revealing maturity and development within her as an internet celebrity/humorous storyteller. And while on the subject of development as a storyteller, I will quickly note that PT Cruiser USA's use of punctuation has improved, often (correctly) for heightened dramatic/comedic effect. Lastly, on the subject of popularity, I liked that PT Cruiser USA included a list of people from Twitter she hopes to meet, which shows further aspirations. But, very interestingly, she included notable alt lit-personality Heiko Julien in the list; in fact, he's the second on the list, which means, apart from Miguel, Heiko Julien is/was probably one of the first people to come to PT Cruiser USA's mind when she began to conceive of this list. And I say it is very interesting because PT Cruiser USA is, I suppose, a member of "weird twitter," which is like the Twitter-cousin of alt lit, which is a little like a bastard descendent of indie lit, a realm out of which both PT Cruiser USA's and Heiko Julien's books originate. So, I guess it seemed to me like when one artistic person gives a nod of recognition to another artistic person in the same sort of way that Stanley Kubrick gave a nod to David Lynch when Kubrick made the entire cast and crew of "The Shining" watch Lynch's "Eraserhead" on the first day of production and then told them, "I want ["The Shining"] to feel like ["Eraserhead"]." Or something...

Some of my favorite passages in "Acceleration" involve things that happen while PT Cruiser USA is at work; notably, whenever PT Cruiser USA interacts with Maria, the dumb manager, the Pygmy UPS Guy, stupid customers, and/or The Diva, which is, to me, a new addition to the cavalcade of sitcom-like characters who make regular appearances in PT Cruiser USA's life via capitalistically-informed economic institutions/places of business. That is, I often see tweets about these people, but it's hilarious to get more information and longer stories about them in chapters. However, The Diva is an exception: I hadn't known that The Diva was a person because I, personally, had never seen mentions of The Diva in tweets/other books. Nevertheless, The Diva's chapter made her, in my mind, fit right in with the bizarre world of PT Cruiser USA's workplace. Additionally, in her previous two books, PT Cruiser USA has seldom mentioned customers, but that's not the case with "Acceleration." Several sections/stories involve or are directly concerned about customer interaction, which I liked very much. Working in customer service as I myself do, I often deal with the ignorance/flat-out bizarreness of customers, so I felt solidarity with PT Cruiser USA when she relayed encounters with certain customers, such as the customer from the "Chingy" story.

One section I took a bit of issue with was "Dumb Manager *part 2*," particularly since I read this book after the Janey Smith/Stephen Trull and peterbd "We're Fucked!" controversy. While there are issues from that, I speak mainly about the controversy behind using real peoples' names in works of art without asking for their consent. Although PT Cruiser USA does not use the name of her "dumb manager," she does take real Facebook status updates posted by her "dumb manager" and puts those status updates in her book. Now, I can only assume this, but I'd be willing to bet that PT Cruiser USA did not ask and, thus, did not receive explicit permission to use those status updates. Of course, for the sake of art, all things are permissible, but people were hurt by the release of "We're Fucked!", so this is an important issue to consider. In PT Cruiser USA's case, there may be the possibility of a similar situation: someone could get hurt. Or maybe not: probably the "dumb manager" will never know about or read this book. Or, if she does, maybe the "dumb manager" is so dumb, she would actually like the fact that she's been included in PT Cruiser USA's book and not 'get' that she's sort of being poked fun at. Who knows? But at the same time, this book was written and released June 9, 2014 (lol, 69!), months before the "We're Fucked!" scandal occurred (as well as the other subsequent scandals late Sept./early Oct.), so the blurred lines of consent were probably nowhere near anyone's first thoughts. But now, I wonder: where do the lines of consent and artistic expression lie? Is it true, as I just sarcastically implied, that all things are permissible for the sake of art, or must we re-evaluate our notions of artistic expression and non-artist-persons' consent to be used for the artist's art? I don't have answers, but I can hope that anyone who reads this review will give consideration to these questions.

Now in the opposite case, PT Cruiser USA includes a story about @ashleyjizzzdale involving a dildo and an unexpected/scary trip to the emergency room. This is an extremely personal story, which happened to ashleyjizzzdale, but since PT Cruiser USA and ashleyjizzzdale are friends, both online and irl, one can probably correctly assume that this incredibly personal experience was given permission to be relayed in "Acceleration." In fact, the story itself, while stylized like a PT Cruiser USA story, seems to be written in a slightly different tone and, I believe, was actually written by ashleyjizzzdale herself. Whether or not this true, the point remains: explicit permission was given from ashleyjizzzdale to PT Cruiser USA to include this story in "Acceleration"--was, possibly, penned by the person to whom it occurred: ashleyjizzzdale. As such, an interesting work of art was created, and *not* weakened from having been granted consent.

Part of what I like about PT Cruiser USA's books so much is that we're given a deeper perspective on her life and the characters who populate that life. One such character, who I have seen mentioned in her Twitter feed but knew next to nothing about, was the Pygmy UPS Guy. After reading the chapter devoted to him, I now have a greater context for who he is and what he is like, so that now I can be "in on the joke" whenever she tweets about him. However, there is a little bit of uncomfortableness about her description of his physical appearance. When she describes his appearance, there is almost an implied negative-jokey approach to it. I'm not saying she does, in fact, joke about his physical appearance because, in fact, she does not. But she begins her description of the Pygmy UPS Guy with his physical appearance because his physical stature is necessary to know in order to see the humor in the sort of personality he has, which is bro-like and over-confident, male ego-centric. His personality, while humorous on it's own, is made, I suppose, more laughable when one understands his physicality. So, the best way to think of him, I'd say, is as a swaggering braggart, but short in stature, which gives him a bit of a Napoleon complex, which is pretty funny.

There are more Maria shenanigans, more retail happenings, and more school stories, all of which humorously show PT Cruiser USA's ability to neutrally exist and observe the chaos and quirkiness of the world around her. Sharing these bizarre occurrences on Twitter and more deeply in her books, PT Cruiser USA shows us a car's perspective in a human's world. Humans can be forgetful, can lack common sense, can be rather stupid at times; PT Cruiser USA, on the other hand (as a car), is level-headed and observant, documenting these people and their actions. But not all people fit into these stereotypes. Some humans are good and/or friends with PT Cruiser USA, notably those listed in the book's last chapter, "top 10 people to follow on Twitter," which functions as both a shout out to those ten people and shows us examples of people who are good, kind, and deserving of special attention in the exact opposite ways as PT Cruiser USA's retail coworkers, her grade school school bus driver, and Keyshia Cole. I would highly recommend buying and reading "Cruisin to the Finish Line: Acceleration" because it shows us that there are good people and bad people through the eyes of a car. And with that being said: "BYE GOING!"

Rarity of the Century by Fawzy Zablah

Fawzy Zablah's debut novel, "Rarity of the Century," is a gem, available from Tiny TOE Press or as a Kindle version. "Rarity of the Century" is an apocalyptic sci-fi novel, but it is also, at it's heart, a love story. Despite the apocalypse-like setting, despite the science-fiction plot, there is love standing at the novel's thematic center. Zablah's novel is a love story because love is the driving force behind each character, which centers their stories, motivating their actions. And the novel itself is a labor of love for the science fiction genre. Consider the direct reference to Stephen King, via the Busboy's gay uncle's bookshelf. Stephen King, who wrote "The Tommyknockers" and "Dreamcatcher," which I read and loved in high school, are both sci-fi/UFO-driven novels, and "Rarity of the Century," I felt, comes out of that same tradition. Namely, Zablah's novel is deeply rooted within characters who must live with the reality of what is happening to them, a reality best informed and described by those who live lives within the context of UFO phenomenon. King's two aforementioned novels describe what it must be like to live every day experiencing UFO/alien activity and, likewise, "Rarity of the Century" does the same, but much more drastically--there is mystery, intrigue, and Zablah's personal thematic flare: love.

The novel opens with the first character, Chucho, proclaiming and addressing the novel's centric theme: "When the world ended I fell in love for the first time." This is the story of the Busboy, his perspective on some/most of the goings-on throughout the novel. Zablah's novel has, essentially, one main timeframe: The end of the world takes place and, we come to find out, there are precious few people left. As it should happen, the three people left on earth are in a menage a trois, albeit later learned. First, we learn what happens from Chucho. His approach to the end of the world is wonder in the guise of calm acceptance. Yet, what starts at first as acceptance quickly turns into struck thrill when he seemingly meets the only other person: Shiraz Zirel, a woman with whom he works and with whom he is in love. Chucho is an everyman, leading a boring, loser lifestyle, but he has an optimistic, scrappy dog-like personality. Always seemingly one step behind fully registering the full implications of what's going on, he is, for all that, endearing and loveable. He has charm and, when his dream come true is granted in meeting Shiraz post-"the end of the world," he uses their circumstances to win her heart. But Chucho--dog illusions aside--is not stupid. He has made observations and come to know some personal truths, mainly about how he stands in relation to women, particularly those who he finds to be very attractive. Chucho is no Alpha-Male, which he kind of knows, often desiring girls who he feels to be out of his league. So he views the end of the world as his opportunity to be with Shiraz, a woman he views as out of his league. Shiraz, seemingly, has no interest in him, but as the two remain together post-apocalypse, a bond forms and they soon come together. For Chucho, it is a literal dream come true.

For Shiraz, her relationship with Chucho is an acceptance of stability, as opposed to heartache and disappointment. As the novel unfolds, plot point by plot point, mystery by mystery, petal by petal, so too does our understanding of these characters as each is given his/her chance to share themselves with us: their histories, their interests, their selves. Shiraz, again given a slight nod to King's brand, seems to have precognitive dreams, which the reader is invited to interpret. For us, it is easy to make out what the dreams mean in relation to the happenings of the novel. But apart from her dreams, Shiraz gives us another, deeper level to the story Chucho has shared. Namely, her story doubles back in the plot to when Shiraz learns about everyone's disappearance, thus giving us a background story akin to Selena's background story from "28 Days Later." Although Selena's actual back story is withheld from the film, according to production notes, the reason Selena is tough as nails is because she had to kill her family at the outbreak of infection due to them becoming infected. Zablah's novel, giving nod to Selena's story, pays homage to the strong, tough-as-nails female character, which is a common motif in horror/sci-fi stories; but, in "Rarity of the Century," Zablah gives Shiraz the courtesy of revealing her back story, rather than withholding it. Albeit, Shiraz is not forced to kill her family, but must, in fact, do away with other neighborhood creatures, a fact that will surely tug on the heartstrings of both animal lovers and members of the internet-based "dogge" culture. Additionally, Shiraz's dealings with dogs, particularly Bebo, is a bit like commentary on the later relationship she forms with Chucho.

While Chucho's story is a slowly unfolding love story between himself and Shiraz, Shiraz's explanation of how she comes to love Chucho is both refreshing (for it gives us the woman's perspective) and also, thankfully, quick, since we already know what happens from Chucho. What is more interesting is the menage a trois fully revealed and confirmed that existed between herself and Chucho and, from before "the end of the world," Benito, a Cuban exile living in Miami. Shiraz's background story is well-handled and her menage a trois story is, seemingly, accurately represented, detailing the difficulties that exist when one must pick between two lovers. Something I first noticed while reading Shiraz's part is that the dialogue between the three main characters is ever so slightly off; that is, the dialogue is not "neat and clean" from one of the novel's three parts to the other two. However, rather than seeming like a flaw, Zablah's handling of this discrepancy is such that I believe it to have been done on purpose, which, then, functions as an interesting commentary regarding perception and memory of everyday life. The way Chucho perceives a conversation with Shiraz is different than how Shiraz perceives it; of course, we're told this via access to what each character is thinking, but to have the dialogue reflect that via slight discrepancies is, I think, very smart.

As Shiraz's storyline approaches the point where Chucho's storyline is cliff-hung, her background story jumps back even further, to her history with Benito. Zablah's use of cliffhangers from one part to the next is also well-handled, keeping the suspense and tension high, compelling the reader to keep reading. In this respect, Zablah's novel is again like a Stephen King novel: the suspense is sustained, turning the book into a real page-turner. And it's smart, too. To keep the mystery, I won't say too much else about Benito or his storyline (although we're given quite a view of what life was like for him in Cuba), but what I will say is that, given what Benito says and sees and shows us/Chucho-&-Shiraz, Zablah's grasp and understanding of UFO lore is surprisingly and refreshingly accurate. All too often a movie or a novel will try to do too much and explain too much and be too "weird" while handling such topics, but Zablah gives us just enough, just a taste, of such subjects, but he does not presume to provide too many answers or get too obnoxiously "weird." Perhaps most accurately depicted, I felt, was when Shiraz saw lights in the sky for the first time. During this incident, Shiraz wanted to leave to tell Chucho about the lights, but she was too mesmerized to actually take her eyes away from them, which resulted in "lost time," i.e. much more time had passed than she had realized; by the time she did look away and went to get him, the lights were gone.

Fawzy Zablah's "Rarity of the Century" is a fantastic sci-fi novel, which is informed and grounded in love; additionally, Zablah's novel demands a second reading. The carefully placed and appropriately timed revelations and cliffhangers keep the story going and the pages turning. But there also exists plenty for the reader to ponder, particularly regarding the fate of the characters and the entire world. Yet, if one reads "Rarity of the Century" carefully, and reads it twice, hints are given, but definite answers are withheld, which is another homage to Stephen King brand horror/sci-fi. These hints and suggestions can be easily missed if the novel is read through only once, so a second reading is, if for no other reason, necessary (although, truthfully, a second reading is warranted anyway because Zablah has written and crafted a beautiful novel). So be sure to buy this beautiful book, whether hand-pressed from Tiny TOE or digitally via Kindle. You will not regret it!

Two Recent Publications

Hello, all!

I have recently been published at two awesome, beautiful zines/lit journals, both of which are just starting out and need your support and attention, i feel.

The first is We're Here We're Queer Zine! I submitted 3 poems and they very kindly accepted all three. This elegantly captures writing and art, all of it seeming to fuze together seamlessly. My poems close/finish out the 1st issue, but everyone's work is fabulous; please read:
http://issuu.com/whwqzine/docs/whwqzine3

The second is Occult Geometry! I submitted some poems and they accepted one of them, "[titlething 8]". My scatterbrained poem is kinda in the middle. But everyone's writing/art in the issue is beautiful and heartfelt. I felt very honored to be included in their 1st issue and I am grateful to be featured alongside such stunning work; please read this also:
http://occultgeometry.weebly.com/issue-1-seasonal-transitions.html

That's about all for now, in terms of updates.
Thanks!

dom.

courtesy of Austin Islam, XXXX

Unnecessarily Embarrassingly Bad: James Franco's "Child of God"

Felt like people will say positive things about James Franco because of this movie, but I think those things will be unwarranted. The film itself is okay, particularly the middle.

The entire time up to until Franco showed up, I kept thinking, "I don't want to see James Franco. I don't want James Franco to actually be in this." Felt the same thing, really, when James Franco did show up, because his appearance was so small that it was honestly banal, unnecessary, and stupid.

Felt as though someone told James Franco about this "fucked up," "dark," "morbid," "twisted" novel, which made James Franco think, "Woah. I want to shock audiences with feces, necrophilia, cross-dressing, and human face-mask wearing a la 'The Texas Chainsaw Massacre'." But Franco's film was NOT as dark/morbid/twisted as it was trying to be.

Felt weird by people who laughed or snickered whenever Lester spoke to his stuffed animals. Yes, it would be funny if you or I spoke to stuffed animals, since you and I live in the city and can connect with literally anyone. But it was not funny for Haze's character to speak to stuffed animals; on the contrary, his doing so spoke volumes about the necessity of companionship against loneliness.

Also, felt it was very clear-cut that Lester was mentally retarded, making the story much more heartbreaking because it was set in a time and place where other people didn't understand that.

Felt as though this could have been made much darker than it was; could have been made to be actually shocking and, thus, actually worth seeing as a movie instead of reading as a book. For example: Do Not burn a teddy bear lying face down in the coals of a fire to visually symbolize the fact that Lester's beloved girl-corpse is burning to ashes--show it, James Fracno, you fucking coward! If one of James Franco's purposes for making the the film was a desire to 'shock audience' with a 'dark and twisted' story, then he failed. The story is, in fact, dark and twisted, but that has nothing to do with James Franco or the film he co-wrote, directed, and appeared in; that is, the novel's complex darkness comes from Cormac McCarthy's story. A mere glance at the Wikipedia Page for the novel will show just how much more enriching the text is compared to the film.

Felt, at the very beginning of the film, that it was clumsily handled and, upon further reflection, felt that the ending was very clumsily handled as well. Before the film, there was a brief hoopla given by the New York Film Critics-blah-blah-blah spokesman, during which he called the film "complex" and James Franco as "talented." Shortly after the start of the movie, I thought, "It (the film) would have been better/tighter/neater if James Franco wasn't trying to do/be literally all of these different things at once (actor, poet, writer, director, producer, etc.)." Thought, "Maybe if James Franco weren't doing so many different things all the time, maybe if he focused his energy on one project and really tackled that one project, he might actually produce something quite good and then (and only then) may he possibly be worthy of the label 'talented'." Doing a million things at once is not talent: it just means you're taking drugs that make you manically scatterbrained. Talent is the ability to say and express something beautiful and heartfelt through dedicated hard work and James Franco simply spreads himself too thin to be genuinely talented.

This was an okay movie, so I would recommend seeing it, but DO NOT, as I did, pay $14 to see it. I nearly jumped when the snotty ticket seller at The Music Box told me the price. Since I was with friends, I coughed up the money, but had I known the price beforehand, I wouldn't have paid that much to see anything James Franco was involved in. Since James Franco was the "director," I knew the film would suck in certain regards because James Franco was attached to it. My god, every poster and trailer prominently displays James Franco's name and face as a character of note in the film, but really: "James Franco" is highly mentioned as an important actor in the film because James Franco couldn't see enough "James Franco" on the promotional materials, what with James Franco being the film's director, co-writer, and (probably) a producer of some sort. And who knows: maybe the "talented" James Franco did more than just that: I'm talkin' he applied the makeup and stitched the costumes himself because James Franco is. So. God. Damn. Talented!

Speaking of talent: Scott Haze. And I sincerely mean real talent. Haze was phenomenal in the film, diving deeply into the character of Lester Ballard, although maybe the real talent was working so closely with James Franco. Aside from the story, which would be better enjoyed via reading the Cormac McCarthy novel, this film's real saving grace is Scott Haze's performance.

In the first part/chapter of the film, there is narration and text.
First: The narration sounded as though several people were speaking, as though it was not the same person, which I thought was a smart choice because the story was being set up in the form of small town gossip, so it made sense for there to be numerous persons speaking. But after the film, outside, my friend and her roommate both commented on the narration, saying it was unnecessary, which I inferred to mean they hadn't noticed the different voices, which made me wonder: were there different voices, which would have been a smart choice, or just one voice who was narrating terribly? I had thought the former, but maybe it was actually the latter, which would have been bad and another factor of the "clumsy" handling of the film.
Second: There were times when text appeared on the screen, which I assumed were actual passages from Cormac McCarthy's novel, which at first seemed interesting and I thought was done in an O.K. fashion. But here's what really sucked about it: text appeared on the screen literally only two (2) times. If one is going to put text in a film, particularly quotes from the novel itself, then there should be numerous instances of text appearing on the screen, not just two. Two just makes the use of text all the more unnecessary. What made it worse was, while the first textual passage was rather intriguing, the second textual passage was literally so dumb. The second passage was nothing more than saying that the sheriff walked through a door to stand on the porch outside. And then the film literally showed Tim Blake Nelson walk through a door to stand on the porch outside. Had the film been better handled, an interesting stylistic choice might have been to cut from the text (i.e. - the simple stage direction) to Tim Blake Nelson already standing on the porch, lighting up a cigarette. Don't show us what you just told us; pick one or the other, for Christ's sake! As a good artist friend of mine maintains: don't tell AND show all at once. And I'm not talking about all text; indeed, another form of technical text that appeared in the film was "I:, II:, III:" which segmented the film into three 'chapters'. I liked this, thinking that the 'chapter'-text segments were properly placed, so I suppose the film editor did a good job with that.

But Scott Haze gave a phenomenal performance.  Tim Blake Nelson did a good job too. I remember really thinking his face looked haggard, which I felt was done on purpose (i.e. - makeup) for his character. He did a good job, but two of the lines he delivered were, I thought, truly terrible. Upon hearing them, I had the impression that they had been penned by Mr. Talented! The first was just a clumsy line near the beginning, when Tim Blake Nelson's character asks what malignant plans Lester has lain out to do. I can't remember it properly, nor can I remember the second line at all, but it was so bad I literally cringed (I mean it: I literally, physically cringed from intellectual discomfort from that second line when I heard it) and then I was aware of my ass in an uncomfortable seat and I shifted uncomfortably because there was only just enough room for my legs before they banged into the chair in front of me and I have blocked the quote from my memory it was so fucking bad! Again, this second terrible quote from the sheriff seemed to have been the spawn of James Franco's wannabe writer desire.

Okay, so as I said, it's an okay movie, but I wouldn't pay high theater prices to see it if I were you and, actually, now that I think of it: Just read the novel instead, as I plan to do.

3 by Joshua Jarrett: Love Poems for Nobody, Dear Victor, & Diary

Joshua Jarrett is a young Georgian lover of drawing, writing, and other artistic endeavors. His work combines poetry and text with drawings/sketches, thus creating comics/zines/ebooks/something beautiful for others to experience/engage with/treasure and love. His first three releases ("Love Poems for Nobody," "Dear Victor,," & "Diary") delve into the personal and intimate, making his work autobiographically distinct, regardless of whether the subject he addresses is a(n unattainable) lover, a friend, an enemy, or simply himself. All three zines reviewed below can be found and downloaded for free (or a kind donation) at Jarrett's Gumroad account, which can be accessed via Facebook or not. NOTE: While Jarrett's work is extremely intimate/personal/autobiographical, I have chosen for the purposes of this review to treat the narrator/voice in each zine as though he were an entity separate from Joshua Jarrett, the Georgian lover of art.

Love Poems for Nobody (2013):

"Love Poems for Nobody" is definitely for somebody, but as to who that somebody is, the narrator never says. This ambiguity is not done out of coyness or intentional meanness, but rather because these poems and drawings (which certainly and intentionally resemble the doodles of a lovesick person) function as scattered thoughts, images, and half-sentences running within and throughout the internal mind--in this instance, the narrator's. There's a cute, quite musing going on in the narrator's head, a musing which we are very graciously allowed to witness. While starting out as seeming superficial and "cute," the poems/drawings gain emotional weight until, collectively (and) at the end, they summon within any reader whose love has gone unrequited a broken heart in solidarity. In some of the opening poems, the references made to magic and astrology convey a longing deep enough to grasp as straws. Later poems, such as "So" and "Pasttime," mong others, show us actions and attempts made at gaining notice from "Nobody;" romantic notice, and sometimes sexual. As the zine progresses, such longings and attempts give way to reflections about (hinted at) failures/rejections, particularly in "Personal Work" and "Catalogue," the latter ending: "a home with me / Without you." The final poem, "Jasmine Buds," gave me a "When Lilacs Last in the Dooryard Bloom'd" vibe, but just because of the title and the accompanying drawing: a leafy vine with flowers. The final poem itself, while being the zine's culmination of the reflective, aloof narrator, signifies that a decision as been reached, though what has been decided is left to speculation. A quick read which will nonetheless leave the reader moved, "Love Poems for Nobody" is an intimate, clear-cut look into the thoughts and feelings, hopes and reflections, of one (and anyone's) everyday life.

Dear Victor, (2013):

"Dear Victor," is a letter to a friend in a spooky disguise. While the letter to "Victor" is not, in itself, spooky, the words, when taken abstractly and coupled with night- and/or Halloween-themed drawings, give the zine a haunted quality. Starting as any letter does, there is the ice-breakers: How are you?; I am fine. Of course the weather is then mentioned, as weather invariably is, but it is at this point that the zine's atmosphere/"mood" changes to something eerie. In Jarrett's zine, like in Bram Stoker's "Dracula," the mood or atmosphere of the outside world (in the park, on the sidewalk, through the graveyard) gets...weird. As "Joshua's" mind wonders during the writing of his letter to "Victor," the thoughts become increasingly influenced by the Halloween/autumn season. The writing gets much more spaced out, each tiny passage given its own drawing; the more spaced out the words, the more the drawings and passages--both separately and together--seem bizarre, spooky; metaphysical. This makes "Dear Victor," all the more compelling. What connection exists between writing a letter to a friend who is away during the autumn? Certainly, there is a lack within "Joshua" while "Victor" is away, a lack which seems to be reflected in the exterior world: leaves die and fall, animals take on darker shades, the moon is more mesmerizing than usual. The final page is a return to reality, but a return informed by knowledge, as though the mental journey of writing the letter has brought consolation, though for whom is left ambiguous. The final words, "I know wherever you are... / you'll always come home," are a reassurance, not for "Victor" alone, but for "Joshua" as well. A letter, a comic, a plea, a spooky journey, "Dear Victor," is a zine for anyone who misses a friend and/or anyone who is alive during autumn.

Diary (2014):

Jarrett's third effort, "Diary," is like his b-sides, which I thought immediately after finishing it for the first time. If "Love Poems for Nobody" and "Dear Victor," are his finished/polished products, "Diary" is the sketches, the drafts, the lead-ups to the previous two. "Diary" is staccato: sometimes the drawings flow and go on for a page or a few, but sometimes they're completely different and just the best of practice drawings. But this is not to imply in any way that "Diary" is an incomplete or unthoughtful work; on the contrary, "Diary" is a rather appropriate name in that the zine works as a segmented view of an individual's life, viz., Joshua's. Some of the drawings and/or text are singular per page/train of thought, like those seen in "love Poems for Nobody," but others are simply cute drawings or practiced profiles. One standout comic/poem, which I will refer to as "HOT," is moody, physically nauseating, much like the character in "HOT" feels...and who had not felt similarly after a night of wicked fun? While some of the poems/lines/thoughts/half-sentences serve almost as the titles of the drawings/comics/sketches in "Diary," the inverse is also true: said 2D art often seems to be the titles for his poems/text. Perhaps a more accurate description, though, would be that Jarrett's drawings act as the fulfillers of his words and visa versa. Interestingly, whereas Jarrett's/the narrator's previous two zines only (maybe) hint at homosexuality, "Diary," in keeping with the theme of an actual diary, is much more open and up front about his sexuality. Jarrett's "Diary" is honest, intimate, inviting; he's not afraid here to admit that he experience self-doubt, fragility. As such, pain can be associated with flowers and unfinished comics sometimes have more to say than if they had been "finished." At times, deep, very nearly philosophical themes/ideas are touched upon for reflection, but then abandoned for continued drawing/writing, for everyday life. "Diary," then, seems to exist at the intersection of one's real, everyday life and one's passion for art; trying to find the connection to retain one's passion while also trying to make sense of one's life (school, work, friendships, family, relationships, and, perhaps most importantly, alone time).

BLACK CLOUD by Juliet Escoria

I was fortunate to hear Juliet Escoria read "Trouble and Troubledness" at a July 11th reading called Maritial Problems, hosted by Rachel Bell, in Chicago's Pilsen neighborhood. I remember really liking the story she read, especially the parts where the narrator cuts herself, because those moments where written and read so vividly they stuck in my mind. I also liked the part where she had sex with two boys at the same time because they were dating her two friends and her two friends were mean to her. Another thing I liked was that the story was segmented into sections marked by roman numerals. I like the structural implications of doing things like that in written art forms. This may be one reason why I really like Stephen King: Just about all of his novels are segmented into "Parts," "Chapters," and sections. After the reading ended, I saw Escoria selling a copy of her book to Nathan Masserang and I decided to buy a copy, too. So I thanked her for her reading and asked to buy a copy and so bought a copy of BLACK CLOUD (Civil Coping Mechanisms, 2014).
Later that night, while I stood on the platform of the State/Lake Red Line stop, I read the back cover's promotional review statements. I recognized names like "Beach Sloth," "Mira Gonzalez," "Electric Literature," "San Diego." I enjoyed the promotional review statements, finding Sloth's to be the most enticing: "brutal, honest, dark, and incredibly real." Perhaps that's why it was placed as the last of the reviews, so people would finish reading the promotional review statements feeling excited and pumped for Juliet Escoria. I must say, it had that effect on me, so when I entered the Red Line and sat down, I eagerly began reading BLACK CLOUD.
I think, first, I really appreciated the fact that each story was further made into a separate and individual thing by the pictures and theme-guiding phrases that accompany each story. I think every picture-word combo is probably related to the companion videos which are the stories being read (by the author, i think), but, having not seen them, I'm not sure. I've only read the book.
Remember being surprised by "Fuck California," like when you drive past a car crash on the highway, it came and went so quickly I reeled, but in an exciting, albeit dark, way. Confusion's "The Other Kind of Magic" really blew me away. I thought it was so accurate, so true to life. I have friends who go through similar situations and I feel as though the casual way in which twenty-first century affairs occur has never been as accurately portrayed as in Escoria's skilled hands. Not only that, but I felt a connection to the main character in this story, particularly when Escoria wrote, "and because you're bad at lying, you stare out the window," which is something I do because I'm also bad at lying. I took out my pen on the Red Line and underlined that sentence. "Reduction" made me sad near the end, given the way the man in the story reacted to learning about the woman's miscarriage. Felt bad, sad, guilty, disgust that men react so pigheadedly towards women and that women put up with it or are forced to put up with it and I wish it weren't so, which I think Escoria was trying to point out: Women, don't put up with shitty men.
Guilt's "Heroin Story" was both funny and poignant, light and dark, insightful and shallow, which is, of course, the entire point, wherein the narrator of that story is self-involved, further proving Escoria's superior mastery of effectively assuming different tones of voice throughout the stories. All of the main characters may seem to be the same in each of these twelve stories (unhappy, troubled, messed-up young women), but each main character is distinctly different, an individual woman with separate flaws, separate strengths, and wholly human. Whoever edited the arrangement of the stories should be commended for selecting "The Sharpest Part of Her" as the next story. This was the last story I read on the Red Line before I arrived at the Morse stop. I remember thinking how incredibly real and mundanely fucked up the abuse seemed. Brilliantly written such that the narrator, while wise and resigned, balances for us the love and hate, sympathy and caution, her childhood self experienced growing up under the rule of a drug addicted and mentally unstable mother. After I read this story, I went back to the preceding picture-and-a-word page and wrote "truly moving" next to DISGUST W/R/T the story's final sentences.

*****

The next day, July 12, I made my way to Pilsen to fulfill an obligation before going to a reading located somewhere off the Brown Line. My beginning travels consisted of riding the Red Line to State/Lake where I transferred to the Pink Line(!) for 18th. I remember reading "Glass, Distilled" and thinking, 'wtf?' re: reading the feeding of mice to fish while strangers sat on the train around me; they had no idea what I was reading and I felt that they would find it disturbing if they did know what I was reading, but I liked the story and I liked it all the more for the fact that people would probably be alienated from me if they knew what sort of things I was reading. Sick. Vivid. But also deeply interconnected and is an example of Escoria's beautifully elliptical thematic style. "Hurricane Season" was quite good. I liked the clearcut realization the narrator has while seeing the man desiring her as much as he used to love alcohol. I remember thinking the ending was abrupt, but I liked that, reading it as an intentional technique to show the finality of the narrator's choice to walk away.
Shortly after graduating university, mid-May 2011, I read Charlotte Perkins Gilman's short story "The Yellow Wallpaper" while in a waiting room. As I sat there, I'm sure the receptionists thought I was odd because if, like me, you really get sucked into stories and experience feelings and sensations by the words on the page, you'll get sucked into "The Yellow Wallpaper." Which is what happened to me: the further I got into the story, the more I associated with the main character and felt fear & terror & suspense & paranoia and experienced physiological changes (increased heart rate, quicker breathing, widening eyes) that made me feel like my mind was crazy. Juliet Escoria's "Mental Illness on a Weekday" had the same effect on me. It is quite short (perhaps it and some or all of the other stores are flash fiction?), but Escoria's keen writing produced within me similar results: I began associating with the narrator and I have felt feelings as is described by the narrator, though not for prolonged periods of time. The piece culminates frighteningly and excitedly into a rallying poem that demands all people give into their manic impulses so as to free themselves. I also remember underlining and really liking the line, "I want to kiss you on the cheek and punch your quiet mouth." I think it is a beautiful line for a beautiful story.
"I Do Not Question It" was fuller; more history for the narrator to explain to us, making it a good followup story to "Mental Illness on a Weekday." After the rapidity of both "Mental Illness on a Weekday" and "Hurricane Season," the story of Powerlessness gave me something bigger to hold on to, to care about for a longer amount of time. I really liked the advice and lines, "'Stop thinking,' he would tell me, so I stopped. It worked. It's harder than it sounds but it's easier than you might think." I liked the progression of the words in these lines and the sentiments which they contain. It is similar to how I sometimes write things. I also like it because I often over-think situations/everything, so I was able to connect with these lines. "Grunion Run" startled me, both for the sudden fate of the characters in the story and for the sudden way Escoria brought about their fate, hiding it from us until the final possible moment. I was pleasantly shocked and wrote "holy shit!" next to the Self-Loathing picture. Upon a second reading 3 days later, I noticed foreshadowing/thematic words peppered throughout. Pleasant enough to read at first, their weight and importance doesn't become known until the ending opens up beneath you. Escoria's softly thematic words are used so skillfully that her stories demand/necessitate a second reading. Envy's "Here Is a Ghost Story" is a prime example of a story that thematically and choice-of-diction-ly employs an elliptical structure. Little bits from here and there throughout the story are recycled in the story's dream ending. I liked that while the dead fiance is dead, she is not really dead; in the mind of the narrator, she still lives and breathes and taunts.
After Pilsen and aboard a Brown Line for Paulina, I quickly read the last story, "Trouble and Troubledness," which Escoria had read the night before. I liked it even more while reading it because I was familiar with the story. I took out my pen to bracket and star a paragraph that I remembered very clearly from the night before; the paragraph where the narrator bites down on the plastic head of a razor to get the blade out and then cuts her arm quite deeply. I also remembered/loved the parts where a boyfriend chases her around the house with a knife and the part where she really gets into crop circles and aliens. I remembered loving the final lines of VII, so I underlined them: "sometimes you just want to make something on yourself that will never go away, something you shaped, something that will be there forever: a sign for someone else to find." Another thing I liked about this story was that it is a perfect story to end with; for, while the narrator is telling us her dark past, she scatters hints that she is better now and stronger and free of addictions, which ultimately gives this story, and the book, a happy ending of sorts, which I find is fitting for the book as a whole.
There are bad places and dark themes in Juliet Escoria's BLACK CLOUD, but there are also glimmers of hope, of happiness, of redemption. Often they are presented in such offhand ways that the silver lining for the characters in this book can be easily overlooked. But those silver linings are there, provided sometimes as beautiful insights spun off almost as afterthoughts amidst the heartbreak and broken lives of the characters. Juliet Escoria's BLACK CLOUD, while available for free as videos online, is, as a physical book, absolutely worth it; it is worth reading, worth sharing with others, worth your time and money and deeply invested attention.

"3 poems" posted by Tiny Toe Press/The Open End

The good folks over at Tiny Toe Press/The Open End published/posted 3 of my poems:
1. And so what if you receive attention?
2. thank you
3. Do not speak as though this were of no consequence

I am grateful and thankful to herocious for this kind posting. Be sure to check out the rest of their website and buy some of their handmade books.

PT Cruiser USA gets Poetic and Personal with "Cruisin to the Finish Line: Ambitions of a Rider"

PT Cruiser USA's second book, "Cruisin to the Finish Line: Ambitions of a Rider," is a confrontational-seeming show-and-tell of the open stream-of-conscious storytelling that is the mind of an automobile with a Twitter account. While PT Cruiser USA's first book, "Cruisin to the Finish Line: Speed Secrets," was an exciting, hilarious romp detailing the car's self-made celebrity, her sophomore effort backs things up a bit. In many ways, the clean-cut "Speed Secrets" was the journey of how PT Cruiser USA came to be who she is today: the Top Car On Twitter with a formidable fan base. The follow up reveals a more intimate view of the car's life. "Ambitions of a Rider" reads rather like the observations, reflections, and rants of an ever-aware young car-person. While "Speed Secrets" reads like prose blog posts, "Ambitions of a Rider" is much more like poetry, given the book's Twitter feed-like style and structure.

PT Cruiser USA's avowed belief in ghosts is attested to in the chapters "spanish ghost" and "ghost hit & run," both of which detail two separate hauntings. "bathroom," "cd gym class," and other chapters recount creepy or spooky instances or coincidences from the car's life. A recurrent motif throughout "Ambitions of a Rider" is the retelling of her past in high school. PT Cruiser USA shares awkward exchanges and interesting yarns in six of these chapters. In "Nutella," PT Cruiser USA shares a hilarious story of how she lucked into acquiring 4 large jars of the chocolaty paste and "parking space" shows the car fighting tyrannical, high school authority.

A second and more prevalent motif/theme throughout "Ambitions of a Rider" is PT Cruiser USA's fascination and occasional interaction with R&B culture and it's singer/songwriters. As a car who exclusively watches VH1 Soul, there are many observations, thoughts, and opinions expressed on the culture of and big names in the modern R&B world. In "kayne west" and "robin thicke," the car rants and reveals her insights on the musical careers and personal lives of the two performers. "keyshia cole pt. 2" sees the continuation of the vendetta between that tacky singer and our beloved Top Car On Twitter. The final chapter in the book, "brandy," is an interesting combination of the car's spooky coincidences, her R&B preferences, and (college) classroom antics.

Personally, i was pleased to see the addition of "body party," a recurrent livetweeting event that occurs in the car's Twitter feed whenever she happens to watch the music video for Ciara's "Body Party" on VH1 Soul. She repeats the same lines each and every time, and if she is watching VH1 Soul for several hours, these repeated tweets may happen several times throughout the day. Continuing events, such as livetweeting the "Body Party" music video, have contributed to PT Cruiser USA's internet status and celebrity. In keeping with the poetry/Twitter feed-like style of the book, the inclusion of "body party" was, i thought, appropriate and hilarious. Another chapter i loved was "white people." As a white person, i know how obnoxious white people can be. (In truth, i like using the words "bougie" or "faggy" to describe very white-acting persons, depending on whether he/she is acting like a rich snob or a fragile flower, respectively.) So reading PT Cruiser USA's list poem of stereotypical white person sayings and actions was hilarious, and a truthful representation of white people who express themselves online.

The only piece that seemed unnecessary was "list of hot guys thoroughly explained." This list had already been used in "Speed Secrets," so to include the chapter again was trying to the reader's patience. Yet, even this chapter is redeemed somewhat by the fact that the reasons given for finding these men "hot" helps to reveal PT Cruiser USA's inherently interesting personality. Another, better chapter that reveals insights into the mind of the Top Car On Twitter was "things i like." This chapter has entries such as animals, boys, and livetweeting, and many of these entries are given their own chapters throughout the book, making "Ambitions of a Rider" a more interconnected whole than it at first seems to be. The last thing that the car likes, however, is "being me." And for good reason: PT Cruiser USA is a unique individual, one worthy of following/watching/hearing. Her personality and her life is revealed to us in her books, her blog posts, and her Twitter feed. She is certainly worth following and watching, given her reflective, personal stories and her hilarious, no-punches-pulled internet presence.